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On the Peregrine Falcon

February 23, 2011

Sometimes my soul gets narrow-minded.  The eyes of my heart get fixated on this one thing, this one persistent question, “what am I going to do with my life?”  I have thought that question up one side and down the other, I have evaluated its worth, rejected it, embraced it, resented it, and yet it persists.  The question stares me down with wild lion eyes that shake me right down deep, and I not quite sure if the lion is there to devour me or befriend me.

I think the narrowness comes from the fact that there are prolonged moments in which this is all I can see in my life.  I went for a walk this morning, just as I was in this narrow place, and the sun was just warm enough and the breeze just cool enough to make me wonder…  It was during this walk as I watched the inland valleys and coastal hills of north San Diego county light up with a dazzling force that I noticed something.  I saw a Peregrine falcon.  I watched for a good 15 minutes.  I am not sure why I was taken with it, but it was then that I was startled into the realization that I wasn’t thinking about this “question.”

Maybe sometimes the question is my friend, and that wild secret that it contains behind its eyes is something to keep me alive with a sense of purpose, alive to the fact that I am here to do something, alive to the longing to give myself to something that, as Frederick Buechner said is the place where my “deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”  But maybe other times the question threatens to devour me because there is much more to attend to in this great big somewhere that we all share.

One Comment leave one →
  1. JRutt permalink
    February 23, 2011 5:16 pm

    you’re probably sick of my comments but hey…I don’t see you enough in person so here it is.

    What you are going to do with your life seems so simple to me. Because you are already doing it and doing it well. You will be faithful with what God has given you. You will be a dad, husband, servant, mentor, surfer, thinker, philosopher, whiskey drinker, baseball lover, teacher, son, brother, friend, a best friend, helper. You are going to do with your life exactly what God intended you to do.

    Speaking of whiskey…we need to enjoy a sip together real soon! I believe that is definitely predestined!

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